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I'm staring out into the night,
And trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
and feeling good don't ever cost a thing,
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.
I'm going home to the place where I belong,
where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm running from you know I think you got me all wrong,
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.

-Chris Daughtry

10:08 AM
It keeps on coming.

How do you stand strong in your decisions knowing that it's going to tear your family up and leave it in pieces?

I've thought about this since I was a child, watching them fight and scream and throw things at each other. But I never imagined that it would turn out this way. Despite him not being there for a large part of my life, despite him and all his fuckups, I can't imagine him not being here at the end of saturday nights yelling at me to wash the dishes. They both had their flaws, but they did the best they could. They gave us everything we needed, and wanted most of the time. He stayed up late to wait for me when I was out, pretending to watch telly, and made medicine when I lost my voice. He indulge in my whims and fancies when she didn't. She, well, she did everything else.

Maybe I don't know what a happy family really is. But sometimes, even when I know we're pretending, I lose myself and believe, for an instance, that a happy family looks just like us.

You see. I'm not like my sister. I don't blame him for what's happened and for what's happening. I know what he did, I know what he does and I know he's trying to be responsible for his mistakes. That's why they always say that I'm his daughter, while she's her daughter.

But I know that when it's all said and done, things will never be the same. Because she doesn't have the courage to stand up to him, and because I have to. Because as much as I love him, I can't watch him do this to us. Because I could have. Because I should have. Because I didn't.

How do you walk away from someone you love?