I'm going home.

HOME
I'm staring out into the night,
And trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
and feeling good don't ever cost a thing,
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.
I'm going home to the place where I belong,
where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm running from you know I think you got me all wrong,
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.

-Chris Daughtry

Monday, May 14, 2007

7:16 AM

I've always assumed that there was nothing I couldn't figure out on my own at a grand old age of 19, but right now I'm terrified and more than a little bit confused. Simply put, I can't imagine being asked to decide the future of the rest of my life just yet. Perhaps it's me, but it's more than about just being happy. I know where I would be happier, but it's also about being relevant to society, about prospects, about aptitude and so much more. Just recently, I thought I had it all figured out - I know where my parents want me to go, and I thought I knew what I wanted with my life, but I guess I was wrong.

I still don't know. Bloody hell. As you can probably tell, it hasn't been the greatest of monday mornings. My eyes are burning and I feel sluggish, like I've been waddling my way through a muddy swamp all morning. Trust me, it makes the Compass test this afternoon a whole less appealing. Then again, sitting 5 hours and going through a whole multitude of tests wouldn't have been that appealing even on the best of days so I don't know.

I don't think I've had a good night's sleep since I got that jab for my allergy reaction last week and waking up every morning with a hangover of sorts doesn't exactly work wonders for my temper. It makes me grumpy and easily annoyed. Sometimes I wonder if we're being too soft, but I don't know. I just don't like people who don't try. It rubs me the wrong way and I just don't have the patience to babysit them. It doesn't matter if you can't do it, but it just irks me when you don't even bother to try.

I need a break in outer space before I go crazy.