I'm going home.

HOME
I'm staring out into the night,
And trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
and feeling good don't ever cost a thing,
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.
I'm going home to the place where I belong,
where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm running from you know I think you got me all wrong,
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.

-Chris Daughtry

Thursday, May 17, 2007

7:20 AM

I definitely woke up on the right side of bed today.

Amazing how good it feels to wake up feeling almost normal. The weather has been hell this past week, and everyone's feeling a bit under the weather. Whilst I do feel guilty about not turning up for work yesterday, I cannot deny that a day off has made a whole world of difference. My head still hurts, but at least it isn't spinning so much.

Today, I feel nostalgic. I can't believe it's been 9 weeks already. 1 more day and I'll be out of here for good. I know I've said that I'm not cut out to be a teacher, and God knows I've screwed up so many times, but I know I've tried. It's been a great 9 weeks, and I know I'll treasure these memories for the rest of my life. There were days when I felt really annoyed with some of my students - some of them can get a little disrespectful, and some of them just think they've got a badass attitude, but most of my students have been fantastic. It couldn't have been easy for them having to follow me as I bumbled my way through the first few weeks either. It's pretty unforunate that this term has all been about fitness and conditioning, I know I would love to have had a chance to play some games with them or simply to sit down and chat with them. But I guess you can't get everything you want, so I'm just grateful for this opporunity. Teaching may not be what I want to do for the rest of my life, but it's good to be able to explore every avenue.

Over this term, every class that I've taught has taken on a life of their own. Some are soft-spoken, some are loud, some have an arrogance that remind me of myself, whilst other classes are shy and reserved. I don't know if I was the best teacher I could be, or even if I was any good at all, but I do hope that they've learnt something from me, even if it was only what not to be in the future. I'm not certain that any of my students will ever get to read this, but I do hope that they've found out this term that they are capable of something great if only they would allow themselves to believe. It gives me immense satisfaction when my students tell me that they've accomplished something that they've never done before, and I hope that this small measure of success will set them up for bigger and better things to come.

Eventually, tomorrow will come, and my short teaching stint will come to a close. But I'm excited, for so many reasons. As this chapter in my life ends, another one begins. A chapter that holds great promise. But first, I'm going to take some time and do the many things that I haven't had a chance to do. My tattoos, my pants, my sneakers, my furniture.

I'm preparing to live out my dream, are you?