I'm going home.

HOME
I'm staring out into the night,
And trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
and feeling good don't ever cost a thing,
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.
I'm going home to the place where I belong,
where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm running from you know I think you got me all wrong,
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.

-Chris Daughtry

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

5:33 PM

Damn blogger sucks.
I was done with my new entry, but then it got deleted. So now I've to start all over again, which is really annoying. As I was saying, I suppose life can get that little bit troublesome without internet but it's not as though I'm home enough to figure out what that's like, so I'm too lazy to call starhub and find out what the hell is wrong with my internet connection.

But on a happier note, I finally submitted my online applications. And all that's left to do is to pray and hope like hell that I'll get into the course that I want. Admittedly, it's a long shot but at least it's worth a try. It's going to be an anxious wait until the end of April. Maybe it'll be a happy 19th birthday?

There's so much I wanna say, but yet I don't know where to start. How do you begin to explain what it feels like to be lost in the wilderness, caught between who you were and who you are now? So much that's messed up, but yet there's a part of me that has fallen in love with that complexicity and chaos. How do you reconcile the differences between your past and your future?

I realise I've never really spoken about my life as a camp instructor. But then again, how do you even start to describe what it's like? It's satisfying and a whole lot of craziness, but it drains you - mentally and physically. The fatigue boggles your mind and scrambles your brains, and you're aching like you ran a marathon in your sleep, but it's a drug you just can't get enough of. Now that my last camp is beyond me, I miss it and I can't wait for my next. But yet, I can't wait to return to normality - no more late nights and zombie days.

DAMN.

So yes, I guess I am that instructor jinger from jbac. But not for the next 2 months anyway. ):
And to be honest, I don't know what I'm rambling about.