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I'm staring out into the night,
And trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
and feeling good don't ever cost a thing,
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.
I'm going home to the place where I belong,
where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm running from you know I think you got me all wrong,
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.

-Chris Daughtry

8:51 PM
What's up people.

It's been a while, hasn't it? Being without internet gets annoying but I'm hardly ever at home nowadays so... it isn't that annoying. I've been meaning to get it fixed but I'm so bloody shagged. Too tired and lazy to dig for the internet bill and call starhub. I'll get to it soon enough I suppose. Well, hopefully.

But...
since I had to do something online, I thought I might as well take the chance to blog. It's been a hellavu rollercoaster ride since school ended. It gets to me sometimes, the way everything's changing. I don't know why, but too often my greatest source of inspiration comes from the symphony of the depressed and the paranoid....

It's been a long time since I've thought about the way things ended. When everything went to hell, I was sore at you but I always had the impression that things were my fault. Maybe I should have done this or been that. It's been so so long, but it still stung to finally find out that you were the one who gave it all up for someone else. Things that didn't make sense at that time make sense now, it's all falling into place. Maybe I shouldn't sound so judgemental, but yeah. I can't help it. I mean, I don't know how you felt at that point but it couldn't have been any worse than how I felt. I was the one who got burnt afterall.
Screw, knowing the truth hurts. It really does. I wish so much that I could be mature and understanding about this, but the heartache makes it so damn difficult. I don't understand how you could have did what you did. Yeah well I always thought I knew what I knew too but I guess I was wrong. Maybe it was the distance, maybe it was me but listening to what she had to tell me about what happened killed me again. Your friends are good to you, no? Damn I wished my friends would play matchmakers too.

Fuck. I'm going to stop now before I get stuck in all these negative emotions again. Time to grow up and leave this all behind. I can't forget what happened but hell, I still wish you'll find someone who made you as happy as you made me once upon a time.

Call me stupid.
S-T-U-P-I-D.

I'm off to write my report now before I fall asleep at my cousin's place. Good night world. I'll write when I can.