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I'm staring out into the night,
And trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
and feeling good don't ever cost a thing,
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.
I'm going home to the place where I belong,
where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm running from you know I think you got me all wrong,
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.

-Chris Daughtry

10:38 PM
Confused.

You know what. I am a very indecisive person and most of the time, I can't decide how I feel about life. I can't decide whether to love or to hate, or if what I did yesterday was right today. I can't make up my mind about what I should do with certain issues, or if I should be happy to be alive.
But the dawning of the night seems to hold me hostage to my irrational thoughts and negative feelings like shackles upon a condemned prisoner. When night falls, I start to question myself and the choices I've made. I begin to analyse and examine, to dissect everything around me, from my choice of lifestyle to my clothes to my friends to my favourite poison. I think excessively and obsessively about everything and nothing at all. I lay awake at night, staring at the (literally) grey walls and feeling uncomfortable under the warm covers, my mind working overtime trying to solve problems that will never have a solution. I dream about the past, think about the present and fantasize about the future. I am plagued by the what ifs and the maybes and all the doubts that lies dormant in the day resurfaces at night, magnified by the darkness that surrounds me. All my insecurities hit me in the gut with the force of a knockout punch and I find myself struggling to breathe, my lungs forcefully squashed by the weight of my self-doubt.
Even so, I can't determine how I feel about night times in general. You see, sometimes I feel as though daytimes are much too boisterous, noisy and full of life for my taste. Sometimes I think about nights are the best time to think, to find peace within yourself. Yet on other days, I feel as though daytimes allow me to forget about my pain, to lose myself within the crowd and all its noise while night times just gives me more reason to brood and to mull about the fultility of life and all our dreams.

Can't you tell I'm a very indecisive and confused teenager?